The fast paced click of red-soled stilettos on the concrete sidewalk, jumping politely into the subway train. 3am pub crawls on a Tuesday night. Perfectly prepared meals looking centuries into the past and with flair for the future. You either get lost in the hustle as a gaijin outsider or instantly become a Tokyoite.

Decide when to go and for how long…

Overview, key sights, experiences, weather, packing

Before you begin… (3 months out)

Make sure your passport is up-to-date. Japan grants visas upon entry to visitors from the US (90 days), UK (6 months), and other countries. (source)

Buy tickets…

Ticket info and links

Decide where to stay… (1 month out)

Tokyo’s neighborhoods are unique. The rich and powerful businessmen spend their time utilizing expense accounts eating and shopping for their wives and mistresses in upscale Ginza. Shibuya Roppongi Harajuku Omotesando Shinjuku Naka Meguro Ebisu Asakusa Ueno… day trips

Make reservations for side trips, day trips and key restaurants…

Pack preparation… (2 weeks out)

Money, clothing, power

Honey, unless you’re from Milan or Paris, your favorite coat will be hopelessly out of style in Tokyo. Comfort is a distant second to fashion in couture-conscious Tokyo, and by golly these kawaii iionanokko have learned from a dear young age the Art of Retail Therapy. You might want to get your hair and nails done while you’re at it.

What to expect:

Everybody that’s not a cane-toting ojisan speaks a little English. Unfortunately, they’ll never admit it unless you ask in Japanese. Playing charades will only get you so far – use the guides to break the ice and you might be able to chat up a local. In Engrish.

What are these sticks I’m supposed to eat with?

If you’re confused – look around and emulate. If people are looking at you funny – who cares! You probably smell like a gaijin anyways. Ten nights at the onsen won’t cure that. However, Japan being the zany rule-following society that it is (unless, of course, you’re a piss drunk salaryman drinking with your boss after a long Monday… actually that’s actually still following rules), the following may apply:

you were talking loudly on the train

you were talking on your cell phone on the train

you were eating on the train

you were awkwardly grabbing someone’s butt on the train

you were on the women-only train

you are not from Tokyo